During the shoot development of images with Tina, a retired lorry driver from Basildon, Essex, we went for a brief walk around her area. Tina was fully dressed in a dramatic red sparkling number and red heals. I am always impressed by the courage of anyone to be themselves, I think my empathy relates to my own memory of the painful process of extricating myself from my hetero-normative cocoon as a young gay man.
The ‘trans’ experience is similar but not the same, gayness cannot always be seen, so there is some relief from the relentless undefinable attention. There is always a fear, after one’s first queer bashing, that the next hurtful experience might be round the corner, especially if you cannot escape the visual representation of who you are. We all should take responsibility for the effect of any unwanted attention on our fellow humans even if our motives are decent, it is hard not to be distracted by a shiny object in all this mundanity. The emotional response to negative, unwanted attention affects us in different ways, some of us withdraw into isolation and depression, others find the strength to be ourselves and magnify our personas further as a polite fuck you to society; there are many responses to the journey towards self-realisation.
Although we live in a relatively free thinking society where we can ‘be’ and behave however we choose, there are still invisible forces externally and internally to be defeated and I think anyone that does not rely too much on the scaffolding of cultural representation to define themselves should be celebrated as an inspiration for us all.
So ‘coming out’ in the area we live, when anger and frustration at society can easily be mis-directed towards difference, is not without its dangers. In showing ourselves we can risk exposure to forces that seek to hurt us. Children very often have a cruel existence, the playground is a place where brutal behavior can be normalized and because they are children they may not be aware of the hurt they are inflicting, as adults we have a responsibility to attempt some awareness of how our behavior might affect another human being.
These pictures show Tina walking me towards the scene of the Guy Fawkes night bonfire where the flames were fed by the children of the area, pulling up the fence around her property. No one else’s fences were touched. I am shocked by this act of passive violence, a threat to individualism and to Tina personally. She mentions it so casually, there is no sense of stress or bitterness in her voice and she is matter of fact about the experience. I can only presume that perhaps this is normal for her, which adds to my feeling of anger and sadness.
I ask that we think for a moment how this might feel, to know that there are people who harbor hateful feelings and threatening behaviors that know where we live or will not hesitate to abuse us. How might this affect our personality, our confidence and our ability to function in society? These images are a record of the result of prejudice that leaks down from the seemingly innocuous dog whistles, politically incorrect humor and insults that casually demean and de-humanise, the results of which are very often impossible to define.
|Tina on Burnt Ground (_7285) © Richard Ansett 2016|
|Tina on Burnt Ground (_7287) © Richard Ansett 2016|
|Tina on Burnt Ground (_7294) © Richard Ansett 2016|