Monday, 22 October 2012

A Masterclass in Hyperbole

I have been receiving the exact same email from an assistant for 4 years.

Dear Richard Ansett

I saw some of your photos on the Internet and I absolutely love your work!...

As a highly motivated, charismatic, and confident young individual. I
possess the right combination of personality and computer based skills;
together with the dedication to excellence, and the drive to ride the crest
of technological development, that has sparked the revolution in

With a finger firmly on the pulse of change, to ensure that you will always
be one step ahead of the game.

During the 7 years in which I have been assisting I have developed
attributes that would undoubtedly make me an invaluable asset to your
organization; alleviating much of the pressure associated with the day to
day, running of you successful photographic business, by solving problems
before they occur.

In exchange I hope to have the privilege of being able to learn from an
individual as talented as you.

An arrangement, which would no doubt become long lasting and mutually
beneficial... I am able to retouchimages to a standard that is truly professional...

Virtually anything you could ever need to do to an image, I can do with a
degree of style and excellence that creates results, that are consistently
flawless and elegant...

Essentially making me the perfect assistant for any occasions.

Willing to work, wherever; whenever; for however; long as necessary, to get
the job done.

Resilient in a crisis and focused under pressure; with a sense of
determination to ensure you will always be able to get the right picture.

Approaching each task with a passion and tenacity, that can only come from
the heart of someone who truly loves photography.

Simply put there are few individuals with the same degree of ambition,
talent and dedication as me. I look forward to hearing from you.

Kind regards


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